Warning: Games spoiled in this blog post: None, as far as I can tell.
Angel of the Battlefield
The smell was practically a
corporeal entity in the small, yet densely populated cellar. A thick, invisible
mist that tasted like sweat, smoke, weapon oil and alcohol revealed most of
what you needed to know about the makeup of the slightly odd gathering. Every
chair around every table was occupied, with singing, shouting, brawling
soldiers celebrating a job well done. The skew was definitely quite male, with
the few women present making sure to pull their caps as far down in front of
their faces as possible. They knew what to expect from the laughing,
fist-bumping congregation surrounding them, should they be caught wind of. The
losing team, or noobs, as the winners referred to them as were also present,
but apart from a few angry yells of cheating or foul play, they kept mostly
quiet and to themselves.
Just as another
round of beers was being handed out, a thin, wiry man with a shamagh covering
most of his face, and a long, intimidating bolt-action sniper rifle rested
across his chest jumped up on one of the flimsy wooden tables, and stood there,
silently, waiting for everyone's attention. He held his hands out to the side,
as if politely asking for silence, as more and more heads turned towards him.
When he felt a sufficiently large part of the crowd was looking at him, he finally
opened his mouth to speak.
"Bitches!"
he shouted, and got a wave of laughs and raised glasses in return. He started
pacing back and forth across the poor table, which looked about ready to topple
over at any minute, like a rock star making his audience wait for their
favorite song.
"Most of you
don't know me," he announced with a cocky grin camouflaged by the shamagh.
"Most of you have never seen me before. But I know all of you," he
said, and let a pointed finger run across the entire crowd, before resting his
hand on his rifle
"I see you
through the 12x ballistic scope of my M40A5 sniper rifle, and in the breathless
moment before I take your life, I am closer to you than your mother, your
father and a whole gaggle of your closest friends combined. I am a sniper, and
though I may be acres away when I pull my trigger, I am right next to you when
you die."
"You're full
of shit!" came a call from the audience, which triggered a wave of
laughter, and calls for the young sniper to get off the damn table.
Instead of complying,
he spun around in the direction of the man who had shouted at him, shifting his
weight around so that the table didn't break underneath him. Then he waited for
a moment, for his captive audience to settle down. As the silence descended, he
expertly twisted his hand down to the rifle's bolt, and pulled it back in a
motion so smooth and practiced, he didn't even have to look down as his gloved
hand snatched the ejected bullet casing out of the air. With his eyes surveying
the crowd, he held it up between two of his fingers, triumphantly.
"This casing contained a
7.62x51mm NATO round, which left my barrel at 777 meters p/s, and 1.59
seconds and 1.239 meters later connected with its target, the right eye of my
enemy."
"Thanks for the math lesson,
professor!" came another call from the audience, and another wave of
laughter.
"No. Thank you for making my
point," the sniper grinned. "Because whereas the rest of you Neanderthals
run around clubbing and blowing up anything you see, I operate on a higher level.
I am a surgeon among teamsters, and my rifle is my scalpel."
As if to emphasize his point, the
sniper slid the bolt back into place, making sure it made more noise than necessary.
He lifted the rifle above his head, and held it there for a few seconds,
silently allowing his rant to build to its crescendo.
"I am the one who ends your existence
when you feel the safest, I am the angel of Death stalking the battlefield, and
I the one protecting my comrades when their hour is darkest. I am the one who
can spot a target a nation away, and with a gentle tug of my trigger, unleash
the magic shot. I am the one who creates the pink mist. I am a sniper, and the
master of the battlefield."
He had said enough. The audience
shouted a hearty HOOAH! as the sniper jumped down, and
cockily strode back to his seat. As he did, however, another man sitting two
tables over, took a deep swig of his beer, and got to his feet, climbing
awkwardly up on his own table. He had a long bullet belt hanging around his
neck, and he carried a heavy, cumbersome machine gun between his hands. As the
crowd noticed him, he cocked his head to the side, and threw a venomous glance
at the sniper.
"I'm sure we're all suitably
impressed by our surgeon friend in the corner," he said with a mocking
golf clap. "How many kills do you rack up during an encounter, doctor?
Two? Three?"
A loud metallic noise reverberated
through the premises as he cocked his heavy firearm.
"In front of me, I'm holding
the M249 SAW. Like the name implies, this bitch, when treated correctly, will
shear a man in half. In the right hands, mine, I can lay waste to entire squads
of enemies who try to fuck with me, or my team."
HOOAH!
The crowd was loving it.
"I carry your ammo to the
battle, and I keep the enemy from sticking his head of the hole he hides in.
Keep your scalpel and your two kills, junior. This is a man's war."
HOOAH!
Before the machine gunner could
even get off the table, another man, wearing a pilot's g-suit stood up, ready
to grab the bragging baton. And so it continued. One after one, soldier after
soldier, they all stood up to announce to their drunken comrades how vastly
superior they were to all of them. Helicopter pilots, mine layers, commandos,
mortar crews and anti-air personnel. They were all saluted with increasingly
loud HOOAHs. Apart from the one guy who spent most of his time on the table
slowly licking his knife. That just made everyone uncomfortable. Just as the
tank driver was basking in his plaudits, the floorboards over in the darkest
corner started creaking violently, and a slow, ironic clapping could be heard,
as a beast of a man walked into the light, illuminating his scarred face. His
steely, sunken eyes surveyed the room menacingly, as he stepped into the middle
of the floor, still clapping, mocking the tank driver as he jumped down off the
table. In the corner of his mouth, he was chomping on a small stub of a
cigar.
"Well done, all of you!"
he barked ironically, in a voice so rasping, it could grate cheese. "Look
at you. Never have I been in the company of such a collection of bad-asses.
Such manly men among men. Fucking one-man armies, the whole bunch of you. So
eager to maim and kill your enemies. No fear, no regret..."
"Who the fuck are you?"
the sniper shouted angrily.
"'Who the fuck am I'"?
the man snapped, and walked over to the sniper's table, hovering over him,
eclipsing the light hanging from the roof. "I saw your 'magic shot'. It
must have been an impressive view through your scope. Nearly a mile away, and
right through the poor bastards eye, right?"
The sniper nodded,
hesitantly.
"Wrong!" the big man
shouted, and slammed both his huge hands down on the table, making the sniper
jump. "You hit him in the head alright. Glanced off his skull right above
the ear. Enough to make total, bloody mess of his head, but not enough to kill
him. Not right away. Who am I? I am the one who could do nothing but hold his
hand, and pump him full of morphine as he slowly and agonizingly
died."
He turned to face the rest of the
room.
"I am the one who runs into
the machine gunners fire in a foolish attempt at saving the man he's just shorn
in half. I'm the one who treats the third degree burns the bomber pilot has
inflicted on a squad of unsuspecting boys in uniform. I am the fucking one who
has to stuff the stab victim's wound full of gauze to stop the profuse bleeding
your knife has caused. Would you stop licking that thing for one damn minute!?
Everyone thinks you're weird."
The big medic took a deep puff from
his stogie, and sighed hard.
"You all make me sick. Every
one of you. You don't give a second thought to the misery and the pain you
cause, and leave to people like me to clean up. You fight in these endless
conflicts, day in and day out, oblivious to the fact that nothing ever comes of
it. There are no winners in this war. We finish one skirmish, and jump right
into the next, and nothing ever changes. We are caught in an endless cycle of
suffering and death, and no-one seems to mind."
The room went silent. No-one was
singing or clapping, the sound of glasses clinking together had died down, and
every head in the room sank towards the floor. For a split second, you could
see a flicker in the medic's jaded eyes. Had he finally gotten through to them?
Was this the start of something new, something better? Maybe the chance for
co-operation and understanding, rather than this senseless conflict?
Suddenly the room erupted into
another rapturous HOOAH! and the medic, dejected, had his answer. Everyone got
on their feet, and started piling together to get to the exit as fast as
possible. Above the large double doors, a neon sign had lit up, and a
familiar countdown had started anew.
The
Next Round Begins In: 7...6...5...4
hahaha - funny how it can easily be applied to any fps or group kill team game - i thought you were parodying Team Fortress.
ReplyDeleteSome grammar and sentence structure issues but overall lovely writing!
Wonky sentence structure is unavoidable when writing in anything other than your native language, I'm afraid. I like to think that it adds a pinch of flavour. :)
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